Stability is a inner thing – not an outer thing
Some years ago, I felt a strong call inside of me to change career path. I was a researcher, stationed at UC Berkeley, California, with a postdoc grant. I loved the freedom and flexibility to work in academia. For the most part, I decided what subjects to work on. I organized my time as I wished. I got to travel and live abroad. I would talk to interesting and bright people all the time.
Yet, a voice in me began to get louder and louder. Something about that job was not “it” for me anymore. “Use your heart and share yourself more,” I heard. I listened… I tried to work with blind people, did some more yoga, took a psychotherapy training… The voice was still loud. Even people around me started to engage a discussion about my career change (but I had not said anything!), just based on what they assumed was happening, given the many things I was engaged in besides my time at the university.
One day, in a practice group during my psychotherapy training, I was playing the “client.” I was talking about my emerging doubts related to my career. The person playing the “therapist”, an experienced meditator and somatic practitioner, suddenly told me: “Your body does not want your job anymore. Your body wants something else”. I froze. Just the thought of not being in safe, stable academia doing research, using my PhD and reasonably following my academic track, freaked me out. And the thought that my body “wanted” something else than my head scared me even more. It did not make sense. Me, I, a starting-to-be-recognized scholar, with 2 master degrees, 1 PhD, 3 languages and a stable income could not switch over to something “else” and not apply directly what was on my CV.
What to do? This is where I started to feel in my own body the wisdom I had heard and read about through yoga and Buddhist teachings. Nothing you think is stable is actually stable – especially if you start listening to something else than your mind. I had a choice to listen, or to become deaf disregard what was coming from deep within. My time as a researcher might be over. At least for now.
“Get me out of here!”, I thought. “I need stability!”
Stability is a basic need. Without stability, no safety. Without safety, no connection. Without connection, no possibility to share your unique value with the world.
However, my mistake was that I was looking for outer stability only. Outer stability such as a home, daily habits, reliable relationships, and other structures you can count on are crucial. The only problem is that they all get shaky at time, for some unpredictable reason. As ancient wisdom puts it, no outer stability we take for granted is ever permanent: our parents, our jobs, our circle of friends, how we spend our holidays… Even the society as we know it – and we all had the opportunity to learn this this past year.
So what is left?
Inner stability. Inner stability, on the contrary, is a constant. Although it is easy to forget, we are the embodiment of something solid, earthy, and concrete that stands every day on this earth. Inner stability is something we are born with, but as we grow up, go through life, get busy and thrown off by changes, inner stability seems to disappear. Well, it does not really.
What disappears is our capacity to remember it, and to return to it. What brings us back to stability and fosters our capacity to stay balanced through times of change is to have practices that build inner stability, besides our “outer stability” structures.
Yoga, meditation, movement, time in nature, quiet and contemplative time etc. all build inner stability.
Go find the practice, the teacher, the guide that feels good and stable to you. Stay gentle, go in steps, incrementally.
Inner stability will build up, I promise you.
Yet inner stability takes consistency, and gentleness. A bit like a plant you would like to keep alive; you need to tend to it.
Maybe it is easy to find consistency and gentleness in yourself. Perhaps not. This is when it is time to look for an inspiring guide, teacher, author, etc. who can reflect those two qualities back at you… For you to find the way back to your inner stability.
Mærk Mere – nyt forløb (in Danish)
Stability is one of the qualities you will cultivate in the new series with maerkmere.dk. This winter I worked with the new online platform MærkMere to design a five-day series for you and anyone interested in an effective, grounded way to find back to yourself and your center.
It is a 5-video series, where you can at your rhythm unfold a journey back into inner stability and the peace and balance you will find there. I drew from my own experience, learnings, teachings in the realms of yoga, meditation, somatic awareness, philosophy, and inner work. With this well-condensed and easy-to-apply program, whether you are a new beginner or a routined yogi, this series is designed for you to be inspired and find balance – easily.
The platform is made with love and a high technical professionalism by my friend Kristoffer Melson. An authentic, dream-fulfilling project that Kristoffer has dedicated his heart and mind to over the last many months is now just waiting to serve you.
You can visit MærkMere and if you buy the series “Mærk din kerne” with me, use the coupon code “Cedric” for a friendly price.
MærkMere is also running a special Easter deal from March 26th to 29th.
Also an idea for a gift to someone you care about, who could also enjoy some inner stability and peace.
Take good care. And “see you” soon through time and space 😊
With love and warmth,
Cedric
